9077 DAYS

9077 days but who is counting? First and foremost this blog of course is for writing right? Well lets talk about it.. Lets start from well what is one of the most important days of my life that was 9,115 days ago, March 11, 1995 a Saturday at exactly 4:15PM. I was so young and so scared but so in love, I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Destiny and wow what a life changing experience, and so worth every second. One of my greatest blessings and my lifesaver, my saving grace. Lets skip to 38 days later, April 18, 1995, and yes that is even hard for me to type. Spending the Tuesday at my moms with my baby girl, the second day of Spring break and two days after Easter, late afternoon with a knock on my moms door, two police officers standing there with my mom holding my daughter and the cop looks dead at me and says in words I will never forget “get the baby” .. Just a side note, Jump to 2020, right now and please imagine that right now it is almost midnight and I am trying to get this story out. Brandon was 8 years old and would have turned 9 on May 11, 1995. The cop says is your son Brandon Duckett?, My mom says yes kinda giggling with the following words, oh what did he do? The female officer stood there and looked us dead in the face expressionless and said I am sorry your son passed away, he drowned at Lake Tamarack and was pronounced dead upon arrival after multiple revival attempts. But oh wait, lets dig in a little deeper, we got a heartbeat back on him twice but we were unsuccessful at reviving him. Do you have someone who can go to the hospital to identify his body? Ok lets just stop right there, what in the world is going on? The world is moving in slow motion and every thing is so loud. The whole world is yelling right in your ear, and we are grabbing for each other again in slow motion and flooded with pain and confusion, I can tell you that to this day we are still experiencing it. A family destroyed, a family torn apart and when I say torn apart we are split at the seams and barely hanging on. A child who had cleaned his room to go to a friends. A child whose last words to me were do you have a dime? He said rolling his eyes, Kristi do you have a dime? All I need is a dime to make a dollar and I can get a Dr. Pepper.. He was an uncle for 38 days, he held her and he was so proud. Brandon Phillip Duckett was born May 11, 1986 and he left us April 18, 1995 about 14 hrs. before the Oklahoma bombings taking home many many children. The only peace we have as a family is that he had to go before them to welcome them home. I guess the importance of this post is not only for me to vent, to get it out, but to express the importance of loving. To love whole heartedly because there is no guarantee of another day, another minute. An hour ago I didn’t even know if I could write this post but here I am, crying and writing and letting it go. Every minute of every day I count how long he has been gone, I count it down to the second and sometimes I am angry, I am so mad I could scream to the top of my lungs, and somedays I just feel blessed to have been in his heart for his short time. Ya most of the time I am just really pissed off and over protective of my kids spouting like a crazy person about the importance of loving someone, But he was my bubba, our beebo, my love, heart and soul. A piece of me died at the bottom of that lake that day with him, I think a piece of all of us really, and nothing will ever bring it back. Thank You to everyone who follows me, I appreciate having a platform to write.